Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
If that was your dad, he is hot
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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