just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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