i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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