I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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