If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
