We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
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its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
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Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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