i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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