When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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