dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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