**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
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My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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