No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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