I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
