He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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