i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
