It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
