lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
