do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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