she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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