One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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