so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
