I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
They have beer where we have blood.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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