Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
