Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
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