Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
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