u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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