im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
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btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
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ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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