Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
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