found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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