So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
