I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize