Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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