I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
