well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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