i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
