everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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