in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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