Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
it's like iHOP with fire
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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