I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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