Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
