My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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