at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
