i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
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