You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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