so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
