You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
