if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
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Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
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I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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