i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
