My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
