If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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