So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Randomize