What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Sorry about my life...
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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