my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'm at about main and main street
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
