Don't you send me to vm
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Randomize
