Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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