I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
