so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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