3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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